Salaam Bombay... I have to Work on Monday!

It has happened again, this time in Mumbai. Not that Mumbai is new to such attacks, but this time the attack was special. This one was beamed live to television sets across the world. This was not the case with Delhi blasts, Jaipur blasts, Ahmadabad blasts (Or was it Surat) or any of the blasts in the past across our country. Not that our country is new to blasts...

As I type this post, the combing operations at Mumbai are still on, and for all we know there may be more surprises. I salute the brave men of NSG who put their lives at line for the rest of us. But may I ask.. What happens next?

No. I am not talking about the NSG operations; neither about the outcome from the visit of ISI head to India, not even about the affect of this tragedy on various elections lined up. I am questioning something more intrinsic to the nature of our country, something we all know but hate to admit.

So allow me to spit out nonsense like I always do… But before I do that let me take a minute as NDTV is asking me to SMS Salam to pay homage. You see 30,000 people have already sent it. Also, I cannot forget Star News for bringing me the exclusive footage. Aaj Tak did a commendable job too in showing me the photos of terrorists first. I also need to thank CNN IBN and Zee News for whatever the hell they did. And India TV just deserves a Nobel prize for what they did... But most of all I thank the sponsors of the commercials so we can take breaks for food and other bodily functions and remind ourselves that life will go on as usual, and we still need to buy that life insurance, that LCD TV and get a loan for that car.

Some channel was also playing Lata Mangeshkar “Ae Mere Watan Ke Logon, Zara Aankh Me Bhar Lo Pani…” in the backdrop with the visuals of last rites of various cops. Commendable job all of you… Indeed Salam.

What is wrong with my brain you ask sir? I ask you what if the hostage situation was not in 5 star hotels but at some market place (let’s say sarojini nagar in Delhi) where the middle class and poor people go to shop and carry on with their miserable little lives? Would we get the kind of international media attention we got this time? NDTV did us proud as its name was quoted in The Gaurdian as a source you see…

Israel, America, Britain, Australia all reacted on this news. I couldn’t help but sense the hidden pride some primates around me were feeling on India catching international attention. Nothing wrong with it, this was a big tragedy and deserves international attention… but don’t we see it’s so obvious… when the dust settles India is alone in this battle? Is the land that produced Chanakya so empty of strategic thinking?

So they tell me the terrorists were from Karachi. Thank god for that… If they had an Indian connection, it would have been a real shame for all of us. Of course there are many places/people in this country we all know as separatists, but come on… these people had GPS and Satellite Maps and other high tech gadgets. The idea that they had any local support is preposterous isn’t it? I mean, what do Indians know about technology? Plus it’s not good for our image you see… We are Incredible India, and sometimes we are India Shining too.

The political primates have risen above party lines, I am glad to see that. Tomorrow they will get back under the party line and start canvassing making this tragedy an issue… But how can I blame them… Had it been the other party I am sure none of this would have happened. Isn’t it? Here you go… please take my common man vote and secure my country. And when you fail, I will vote again to the other side… hoping for the best!

Why not just admit it and start correcting the problems? Our security infrastructure is poor. Our governance is grossly incompetent to even understand what’s wrong with it… forget about improvements. Our media is too immature to make any real difference. Our democratic setup has been taken for a ride for far too long so we have stopped complaining. We continue to live as a bunch of states/groups held together by the INR and not as India.

Of course I won’t SMS Salam, because I did that last time too and nothing has changed since then, except the SMS rates that have gone up. I don’t want to listen to Lata Mangeshkar songs in the backdrop, give me some victory song. Till then let me carry on with my life… The share market is killing me!

Angry Hindus, Pseudo Secular Nation and Evolution

Someone I know just sent an article about how Hindus were getting angry about the Pseudo Secular forces in this country and why none of it made sense to him.

Well none of the commotion about Hindu terrorism vs Islamic Terrorism, and which one is better, makes sense to me either, but with slight twist. Oh well how to put it mildly...

So here's the deal. There's "us" and there's "them". And of course there are "others" too. "We" are the majority. "They" are a minority.

Majority is a commodity, cheap, easily available, has no special aura about it... Like Water. Minority is a rarity, exquisite, something special about it... Like Scotch. Sometimes you love being a part of the minority just because of it's uniqueness.

Hasn't it always been chick and cool to be the outcast? I mean let's admit it, we all think people who made their own way are super cool, be it Hitler or Gandhi. So when someone asks you what do you think of "them", you may say like most of "us" that you don't like "them". But that would make you a commodity. So you say things as if you were a part of "them" and not "us". Your tribe elders can't believe it... A heretic amongst us!!! Feed him to the fire... says one elder, But he is one of "us"... We can't do that... says another. You thus get a special status in your tribe. You have now become the bottle of Scotch amongst bottles of Water. There are similar patterns amongst "them" and "others" too... Don't know why we keep forgetting the "others"

The solution you ask? My opinion you ask? Well I don't claim to be an expert on primates sir, but freedom from divine delusions seems to be an answer. I am not sure if most primates are genetically ready for it though.