No Tamil? What are you doing in Chennai?

On the way back from my office, the cab drops me about 1.5 KM away from the where I live. Now in most cities, you would say this is not a problem at all and start telling me about options… but hold your horses, we are talking about Chennai.

I went to the bus stop. All the buses had sign boards in Tamil. I tried asking people standing at the bus stop which bus to take. Most could not understand my English. I knew what to do. I asked “go-a straight-a which-a bus-a” (which bus route should I take to go straight). Instantly some people realized what I was asking and told me to board “Yum Thurdeen” or “Yes Fifdeen” (M13 or S15). I thanked them and waited. The buses came and there was a bee hive of people hanging out from its gates. I decided not to “board”.

Then I asked a local guy if I should take an auto or a shared auto. This guy told me that auto would not oblige since this is a short distance. And then he told me shared auto is anyway a better option as I can save money. I told him it’s not all that big a saving. He then explained that it’s not about the money… I should take a shared auto because men and women share it and you get to rub shoulders with ladies. He was shaking his shoulders up and down while telling me this and I could tell he almost had a mental orgasm.

Finally I found a shared auto. There is no color coding between regular and shared autos in Chennai but after a while you can guess by looking at the make of the auto. I tried explaining the driver where I wanted to go but since I don’t know Tamil, it was a problem. Soon a lady sitting in the shared auto obliged and explained the driver where I wanted to go. Thanking her, I boarded the shared auto to notice this was an educated professional lady. She immediately asked me “No Tamil? What are you doing in Chennai?” to which I said “I am working here in Chennai”.

She had a sympathetic look on her face. So had I…