Finding a House in Chennai

So I have moved to Chennai… at least for the next 6 months. I did not find time to even meet my friends in Delhi before I left, as the new job required me to arrive there ASAP. It was a long flight and unfortunately the air hostess was not pretty enough to keep me occupied.

For the first week I was in one of the best 4 star hotels the city had to offer. The hotel was nice, but it was the pub at the hotel that was funny. This place had a self styled DJ and a strange crowd. But since I had nothing else to do I went there with a friend. I ordered a chilled beer. He could not understand. I knew what to do. I ordered a chilllllled beeeeer. This time he got it and got me a beer that was mildly cool. For some reason I have not been able to find really chilled beer in the city. But my quest is on.

Then came the tough part… Finding an accommodation in Chennai. My friends tried there best to help and finally I found the number of a person called Senthil. Now this fellow was really interesting. Over the phone, he kept talking to my auto rickshaw driver instructing him which place to show me next. The auto guy took me to 3 – 4 places and I liked one. The auto rickshaw drivers in this city are known to be rascals of the first grade, when it comes to fair pricing. Surprisingly this dude was super cool and charged reasonable amounts. The only trouble was he did not know English and I do not know Tamil. Through some agreed upon hand gestures we were able to communicate.

In the evening the great Mr. Senthil agreed to meet me. I had taken an off from the office specially on a Friday to settle this house-finding-and-shifting business within the weekend. I was waiting at the house when this fellow suffering from malnutrition walks in and introduces himself as Senthil. He pulls up his lungi, sits on the couch and places his 4 mobile phones one after the other on the table with great care. Then he offers me a seat and asks me what he can do for me. Now I am a reasonably calm guy but I had wandered in the Chennai sun since morning. So I simply said why he is here if he does not know what I want from him. Then he told me that he has seen all the highs and lows of life and is saturated with money and how he is almost about to attain nirvana. I wanted to slap him but he would have died.

Now, Chennai is cheap place as compared to Delhi or Hyderabad or Bangalore as far as cost of living goes but since I am a royalty, I went for a luxury room. Now that the deal with Mr. Senthil was set I went back to the hotel and had some more chilllllled beeeeer.

Waiting to see what this city has to offer.

Cheeeerzzzz

Don't Like Delhi? Kiss My Ass

Most of the people in India do not hold a very good opinion of the place (for reasons I don’t really understand). Given below are the top 5 reasons offered to me by most Indians as to why Delhi sucks:

1) Arrogant people
2) The city is full of cheats
3) No nightlife / Is not cool enough
4) Too hot / Too cold
5) Lack of infrastructure

Now lets look at all these reasons objectively.

Arrogant People: Yes, this city has arrogant people. So are you trying to tell me that the city you live in does not have any? Arrogance mostly is directly proportional to power or money. In Delhi you have many people with either of these; or in most cases both. I can’t help it if your city is full of powerless poor people. If the first 2 people you bump into happen to be arrogant in your perception, sorry mate you are too sissy.

City is full of cheats: Yes, the city is full of cheaters. Every kid cheats his mom when he steals that candy from the kitchen, or money from dad’s wallet. Every man cheats his boss / customers everyday when on work. Every women cheats when she tells people that she has lost weight. Every one amongst the youth cheats when they try to get a drink at a pub when they are in fact under-aged as per law. Yes, all of this is true of Delhi… and in your city too!!! So cut the crap. Caveat Emptor… End of story.

No nightlife / Is not cool enough: Yes, Delhi has no nightlife. In fact the roads are empty at 6 in the evening and everybody goes to sleep at that time. All those who believe what I have written above are requested to jog in the middle of any Delhi road at 7. Please get your insurance before you do this. In case you did not find any nightlife during your trip to Delhi, either you were not with the right people or you did not have enough dough to spend. Period.

It’s too hot / Too cold: Buy an air conditioner or a room heater. Stop whining.

Lack of Infrastructure: Just Shut Up. Delhi has the best roads in India, Metro, Signal-less Ring Road. What are you talking about? Electricity and water are problems in every city worth its salt. Buy a UPS and get private water supply or get a boring pump. Act like a real man.

That was the most objective analysis on Delhi that I have done so far. I feel good.

Cheers.